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Why It's Important to Talk to Your Kids About Mental Health

By Sara-Lynne Levine February 2, 2016
Right before the holidays, my 16-year-old cousin committed suicide.

She was a great kid. Outgoing, popular, and a National Honour student who was involved with her friends and family. She loved music and was great with her cousins (including my two boys).

But she had a secret, a depression that consumed her and caused her to take her life. The family members she left behind – her brother and sister, parents, grandparents and much extended family, are all asking “how?” and “why?”.

My 13-year-old son has had a lot of questions about what happened. We have answered everyone as best we can.

No, we don’t know why she did it, except she must have been very depressed.

No, no one had any idea how she was feeling.

Yes, it is scary and sad. And, finally…

Yes, mental illness runs in our family.

This was one answer I struggled with a bit before I answered him. But then I thought, “why wouldn’t I share this important information?”.  If there was a history of diabetes in our family, I would share that. If there was a history of migraines or high blood pressure, we would share that too. Sharing our family medical history is a way to prepare and protect our son, and it will help us identify signs and symptoms of illness if needed. It also makes it relatable and not as abstract. Mental illness is a malady that can be treated with medication... so why would we not share that information?

Then the questions got more personal – “Mom, have you ever been depressed?”. I thought before I answered and then honestly said, “Yes, twice”. I had post-partum depression after our second son was born, and when I was 21, I was diagnosed and treated for depression after my grandmother died. I told him I felt weird and sad. I told him I talked to a friend about how I was feeling, and then saw my doctor who made the diagnosis and gave me medication to take until I felt better.

We continued answering questions until he didn’t have any more to ask. We tell him he can come and talk with us anytime about anything. We hug him and his brother, a lot.

Most importantly, we are talking, a lot.

Talk to your kids. Hug your kids. Be open with your kids.

A foundation dedicated to mental health awareness and suicide prevention for teenagers has been established in my cousin's honor. To learn more, visit Elliesbus.org.
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