Ask Maggie: More Advice from a Mom of Three

Dear Maggie,

I have a neighbor who always seems to be in personal crisis. I have tried to help any way I can with child care and meals but I have realized that maybe I am being taken advantage of. Even when I say I am not available, she still finds a way to rope me into cleaning her house or running an errand when I know she is able to manage on her own. I don't want to be unkind. Her husband is a deadbeat and I know she struggles with depression. How do I make it easier on me and still help?

Dear Neighbor Saver,

It’s important that we lie down like a rug for at least one person in our life and chalk it up to “friendship.” It’s the honorable thing to do. 

I was lying just then. In life sometimes we need others to point out crimes against us as if we are characters on CSI. I’ll play the role of Detective Maggie and break the bad news to you. Ma'am, I’m sorry to tell you, you are being taken advantage of.

You’re also being sorely underpaid for the house cleaning services! (I’ll pay you better! Let’s chat!) 

Tell that emotional Dyson that you’re making changes in your life and that if she doesn’t hear from you, she was one of them. Make the change in you, darling. Not her. You have far better people waiting to take advantage of you in all the right ways. Namely that cute significant other! 

In all seriousness. You’re not helping her, by helping her. She’ll land on her feet just fine. 

xoxo
Maggie

P.S. I was serious about the housecleaning chat. Call me!