Since I was a child, I’ve always felt that Father’s Day is an obligatory holiday. Meaning that since we had Mothers Day we HAD to have Father’s Day. Mother’s Day was always more important calendar-wise and who has ever heard of a restaurant offering specials for a Father’s Day Brunch? No spa treatment deals for dad and certainly no Father’s Day bouquets!
The old adage goes that women are nurturers and caregivers while men are providers and protectors. I think that is what society wants us to believe, expects us to portray and encourages us to enact. In my home, it was not so different and it was very important to my dad that my sister and I learn the basic skills in life to get along. He was patient, he was informative and above all he always took the time to teach us. He stressed that he was not always going to be around to help and that even though we were girls, we needed to know certain things. He may have been listening to too much Bob Dylan at the time, but either way we paid attention.
He taught us how to change our own tires, showed us how to reset the breaker box and hook up the sprinkler system. He showed me how to change the spark plugs in the lawn mower and how to spackle a hole in the wall. I knew how to snake cable wire through the wall and how to dig a trench for the garden. See, he was forcing me to learn to be self sufficient, because in his eyes, that is a form of happiness. The ability to take care of and have pride in what we have acquired in life and the know-how to sustain it.
Anyways, isn't Father’s Day EVERY Sunday? I mean that was really the only day I saw my dad. He would get up before anyone else in the house and do who knows what outside. Somehow, the sprinklers would be on, the garbage would be out and Mom’s car would be clean. He would always work overtime, and if he didn't he would cut the lawn, fix the bathroom sink or be sanding some closet door. Saturdays were more overtime or he would grab a side job doing something for someone else.
As a child, I thought my dad was busy all the time because that is what dads like to do. As a teen I thought he was busy all the time because he was a dork and enjoyed it. As an adult I see that he was busy all the time as he was consistently wanting to improve our quality of life as a family. He was nurturing and caring for us by providing and protecting.
These calendar days are not so much to celebrate our parents on "one" day, but to remind us that we need to appreciate what our loved ones do for us a bit more often than we do. It’s easy to take our parents for granted and even easier to forget to let them know how very grateful we are for all they do. Use Father’s Day as an opportunity to reach out and say thank you. Pull a moment in time, where he took time for you and let him know how very much it meant to you. That is more valuable than any tie or BBQ set you can ever give him. Share with your children that days like this are not about the tangible gifts, but about respect and acknowledgement of the sacrifices people in their lives make for their well being. They may not fully grasp in now, but over time, I promise you, they will not only absorb it but will emote it as well. And if you are unable to be with your father, a moment of reflection has been known to fill hearts and encourage minds.
I would tease my dad as a child because no matter rain, shine, winter, summer …12:30 on Sunday was quittin' time! He would come into the living room, plop on the couch and watch whatever he wanted. He would toss the paper around the floor and leave plates and cups on the coffee table and never get in trouble. My mom would allow him to eat what he wanted, no matter how close to dinner time and he could leave his socks on the floor. He would wake up immediately if we changed the channel and yell at us to change it back as he was "watching that." He was the king of his castle, he was our father and Sunday afternoons were his.
xoxo
Happy Sunday Dad!
