Ask Maggie: How Much Money Should the Tooth Fairy Leave?

Maggie's advice: 'Burn all books that reference a fairy of any sort leaving coins or money.'

February 4, 2020

Dear Maggie,

How much money does the tooth fairy give?

Dear Sir or Madam, 

Well, it depends on how bad she messes up. 

HA HA!   

In my neck of the woods, the Tooth Fairy has gotten older, sometimes has a glass of wine before bed, is not as enthusiastic these days, and pretty much is done with these shenanigans after three girls and 600+ baby teeth. 

For these reasons, the Tooth Fairy at our house is often forgetful and must frantically leave whatever is in her wallet. Even if it’s a $20 because she forgot to flit to the bank or fly to the grocery store to beg them to open the drawer and break her bill. Something many employees seem not to be able to do these days without permission from the President of the United States or something. But that’s the East Coast tooth fairy. Maybe yours has a different currency. 

Regardless of where you live, if the tooth fairy flies into your home, set yourself up for success. Explain that you NEVER know what the tooth fairy will leave. It’s SOOO super exciting to live on the edge! In preparation, burn all books that reference a fairy of any sort leaving coins or money. 

Then you’re set. Because then you can leave a new toothbrush, a book, some pocket fuzz, an IOU, a dollar bill, a pack of brand new big girl or boy undies, foreign currency you forgot to use and has been sitting in your drawer for years ... the list goes on and on about how creative that fairy can be. The beauty is that it can be ANYTHING if you play your Tooth Fairy cards right.Catch my drift? 

YOU get to decide the currency and it should be a fluid currency so that your Tooth Fairy can deliver no matter what. Even at 8:58 p.m. when you’ve had that glass of wine and you’re getting ready to watch the next much-anticipated episode of “whatever” only to hear the gleeful call from upstairs that ANOTHER tooth has loosed itself and now you must stand vigil to ensure that the TF has a successful run and doesn't ruin your kid's whole childhood. 

So, if it's too late and the kids think the TF only brings money, well, then I guess the answer to your burning question is that TF leaves whatever’s in your wallet. But if you still have some time before that first tooth pops out, I highly suggest, as a TF veteran, that you plant the seed that the TF can leave ANYTHING.



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